Here’s an all too common question wedding planners often get asked- what’s the best way to stop relatives from interfering with the wedding planning process? If you’re lucky to have a big family, well, the good news is that you have many more people to celebrate such a happy occasion with. On the flip side, just saying the word ‘wedding’ is enough for everyone to have an opinion on what should be done and how best to do it, without really asking for your consent. So, how do you keep wedding meddlers away?
First of all, you should understand that any relative who wants to pitch in, wants to do so because they really care for you. However, here’s another truth- wedding meddlers are the highest cause of stress for wedding planners and brides. That’s why we have 6 golden tips on how to get your way without offending anybody:
Talk To Your Fiancé
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Let’s be clear- you need backup and if the interference is coming from his side of the family, then saying ‘No’ to them is trickier. With him by your side, you can safely ask him to talk to his parents and soothe any ruffled feathers. What kind of a wedding do you both want? That should be top priority, so make sure you jot down his inputs too.
Listen to Opinions
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We only asked you to listen, not to put everything you hear into actual practice. When you’ve got a bua who claims to have planned more than 20 weddings for others and who is more than happy to share her million dollar ideas with you, saying a flat ‘No’ will hurt and is disrespectful. There’s no harm in taking everyone’s inputs so that everybody feels important.
Involve Your Wedding Planner
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In most families, the minute a professional wedding planner steps in, most wedding meddlers step out. Make sure that your closest circle are clued in to all the meetings that you have with the wedding planner so that the most important aspects of the weddings aren’t kept a total secret. Most communities have certain customs which must be followed and not doing so could hurt sentiments.
The Art of Delegating
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So, ok, we agree that there are always at least two members in each family who absolutely refuse to back out, wedding planner or no. What’s the best way to deal with elders who absolutely insist on contributing in some manner? Give them a harmless duty like choosing the cake design, planning on wedding favours or making guest seating lists- this way the buck stops with you but they feel like their contribution mattered!
Keep Secrets
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The best part about a wedding party is that you just never know what the newlywed couple have in store for the guests. It could be a first dance carefully rehearsed for weeks, a planned DJ in the house, fake snow at the entrance or even an act by a hypnotist. If you’ve planned a surprise for the crowd along with your fiancé, then we suggest keeping it all to yourself without involving the wedding meddlers.
Be Firm
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There’s a very thin line between being firm and being rude especially when it comes to dealing with the temperaments of family elders. There is absolutely no harm in letting your family know that your fiancé and you would prefer to deal with certain decisions in a particular manner that is impartial and which makes you both happy. Eventually, your happiness is what matters the most to your elders too and if what you want to say is well thought out, there’s no reason why they won’t be happy to play along!
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