In a long-term relationship, there are certain issues which, if left unresolved, can turn into serious challenges having enough potential to take a toll on the bond and, ultimately, resulting in breakup. While ego and infidelity often get labelled as the main culprits in matters of heart, we miss out on a number of other equally important factors. Many times, we are blind to our own faults and mistakes which could have easily avoided otherwise.
Here, we will discuss such common mistakes which often lead to breakups-
Common Mistakes That Lead to Breakups
1. Accusations
If there is anything that can be called as the kiss of death to a marriage or a relationship, this is it. Couples unknowingly become a part of the blame game. When an issue arises, we tend to accuse the other person without knowing the entire issue or the truth. We hear a part of the fact and we react, without bothering to ask the other person, here partner, what happened actually. Even if we ask, we don’t do that with the intention of hearing their side of the story. If you want a beautiful relationship, you need to give your spouse the benefit of doubt. Failing to do that could lead to breakup.
2. Emotional Escalation
When upset, people react in two ways. Either they shout or they sulk. People who shout think they can prove their points in this manner and they try to make the other person feel guilty of being in the wrong. That’s another side of accusation. Therefore, to them, being right becomes more important than being in love. While nobody is asking you to take the blame with a silent node, emotional rigidity in such situations is also not a solution. In fact, it only worsens the situation leading to huge miscommunication.
3. Invalidation
Invalidating your partner and his/her efforts can be termed as borderline bullying. Because the impacts on the other person are the same as that of bullying. While one is wrong, it is not necessary to belittle every human characteristic of that person to prove him/her wrong. It not only wreaks havoc on their psyche, it also makes the other person feel worthless and unloved. So, if your partner makes a mistake, accept it as a human thing instead invalidating him or her to avoid any permanent damage to your partner’s self-esteem as well as to the relationship.
4. Withdrawal
Alienation can never be a solution. If you disagree with your partner or you two had a spat, sit down and talk about it. But, withdrawing all sort of communication with your partner can be a deadly move. The other person will feel abandoned and left alone. Also, if you two are having a conversation, try not to walk in over your partner if he or she says something that you don’t agree with. To be together for ever, you two have to constantly work on it…for ever.
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5. Guards Up
The reasons can be many, but, while in a relationship, guarding yourself up from your partner sends pretty wrong signals. People with serious trust issues or who have been previously cheated on or being played with, showcase a guard-up personality in order to protect their hearts from any more hurt. But, in order to protect the vulnerability, they end up instilling a feeling of mistrust in the relationship. The other person feels incomplete in this process, eventually, leading to a breakup.
6. Less or No Appreciation
While it is not required to appreciate your partner every minute; not appreciating your spouse or partner at all is not good. We all look for a love, appreciation and admiration from our partners. This reinforces our strengths and beliefs in love. So, failing to do so means failing their expectations. That can be harmful in a long term.
7. Trying to Change the Other
Often people enter a relationship with a preconceived idea about how the other should be. So, you already have a figure sketched on your mind and you are constantly trying to fit the other person in that figure. That’s the worst thing that one can do to his or her partner or spouse. The first prerequisite for a healthy relationship is accepting each other as they are. You cannot customize your spouse or partner to your needs. That can be a fatal blow to the relationship.
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8. Being in control-always
Many people have the misconception that the secret of a secure family life is being in the control. No! This is actually the exact opposite of a healthy relationship. Nobody should be the “remote control” in a relationship. It will only make the other partner feel suffocated, driving her/him away.
9. Insecurity and Suspicion
A relationship which is based on mistrust and suspicion cannot go really far. Even if it manages to go a little far, it cannot stand a raging storm. What people often fail to understand is that jealousy and suspicion is the result of deep rooted insecurity and a low self-esteem. Before it sours the relationship, it’s important that the partners talk about it and find a solution.
10. Failing to Create Trust
While insecurity is a serious issue that can lead to breakups, failing to create trust in your partner is also another major reason for which marriages fall apart. While in a marriage, the two of you must take the initiative to build trust. It will take some time. But, not building trust will ultimately make your relationship fragile.
Featured Image Courtesy: Fotoskarma
