If you thought wedding ceremonies can’t get more bizarre than the groom breaking a wine glass by stepping on it at a Jewish wedding, or the Finnish bride going from door to door with a pillowcase to collect her wedding gifts accompanied by an old man with an umbrella, think again!
Not only are Baltic or Greek wedding traditions peculiar, some of our own rituals surrounding the wedding can be as off-the-wall. True, a wedding brings happy tidings to the family, but it is after all the eclectic rituals associated with it that make for real memories.
The most common perception of a Hindu wedding is the lighting up of the Vedic fire around which the bride and groom walk seven times while the priest chants mantras. Assumingly for the sake of brevity, almost all television series or cinema dealing with a Hindu wedding conjures up an image similar to this. Then what about the many awkward and flamboyant rituals that precede or succeed it, rituals that are unique to every culture, rituals that are perhaps relevant no more but lovingly adhered to.
With the wedding season upon us, let’s vet some truly obscure Indian wedding traditions that evoke emotions ranging from laughter, grimace, scorn, tears, to sheer amusement.
Bengali weddings: That the mother of the bride is not supposed to see the wedding is common knowledge. But did you know that on the day of the wedding, married women from the bride’s family rise at the break of dawn and arrange a plate of aarti complete with sweets, twigs and incense, and go over to invite the Ganges to the wedding of their daughter. The holy river is believed to bless the girl in her future life.
Bihari weddings: This could be a rather curious post-wedding ritual performed by any groom’s-side-of-the-family on bringing the bride home. Here an eager, expectant bride suddenly finds herself grappling with a huge earthen pot set on her head by her mother-in-law. Without losing time, few more pots are added to the pile while she is expected to bow down and touch the elders’ feet. As the dramatic scene is played out, all and sundry gather to see how many pots the new bride actually balances, which is ostensibly an indicator of her skills at striking a balance in the family.
Tribal wedding in UP: Sarsaul, a small town in Kanpur district has given a new dimension to wedding hospitality. In keeping with the tradition, the baaratis here are not greeted with flowers and rose water spray, instead tomatoes and potatoes are hurled at them followed by a round of choicest abuses. Your sides might hurt imaging such a welcome, but the tradition takes root in the belief that a relationship that doesn’t begin on a not-so-happy note always culminates in love.
Rabha weddings in Assam: The weddings of the Rabha tribes of Assam is an aesthetic affair. Performed as per Gandharva marriage tradition, the ceremony involves a simple exchange of garlands – no pheras around the fire, and a lavish feast to round it up with. An extremely patriarchal ritual, the newly wed on their first day together at the boy’s family home is expected to give a hand in cooking the afternoon meal and serve only to the male, elderly members of the family. For the rest, food is served in subsequent batches by the helpers.
Malayalee weddings: How much the rest of the world frets about keeping the auspicious time for the wedding, tell this to the Nairs of Kerala and you’ll manage a wry smile out of them. For them, the auspicious time is when they set out from their homes to marry in a temple or the ancestral home of the girl, and not the actual muhurat of the wedding. Like all Malayalee weddings, this too happens at daytime. A serene white wedding with a generous flash of gold jewellery, the bride and groom walk around the mandapam thrice – not seven times.
Kumaoni weddings: The use of flags in the marriage ceremony sets Himachali weddings apart. Traditionally, a white flag called ‘Nishan’ leads the marriage procession representing the bridegroom, followed by drummers, pipers and a white palanquin carrying the groom. The last man of the procession carries another flag, of red color, representing the bride. When the marriage party returns from the girl’s home after completing all ceremonies, the red flag takes the lead followed by a red palanquin of the bride, succeeded by the white palanquin of the groom, and the white flag at the tail end of the procession.
Tamil Brahmin weddings: At an Iyer wedding, just as the groom is about to step into the mandapam for the actual wedding ceremony, he has a change of mind and decides to pursue ‘sanyaasam’ (asceticism). An age-old Brahmin tradition ‘Kasi Yaatrai’ this, the bride’s father too plays his part of a distressed father by reaching out to the groom and convincing him to take up ‘Grahastham’ (family life) with his daughter who would in turn support him in his spiritual pursuit. Umbrella, Bhagwad Gita, hand fan and sandals are the props used by the bride’s father to win his would-be-son-in-law back.
By Sankari Kalugasalam
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