Being in a relationship is like a dream come true. Maintaining it, though, can look like a challenge at times. Fixing a broken relationship can also be challenging. Mending a broken relationship takes time, energy and, most importantly, willpower for both parties involved. Above all, it requires immense courage to take a step forward to work out a damaged relationship. In fact, the thought itself is a great step forward. Burying all the disappointments, hurt, broken promises and unfulfilled expectations behind you, giving another chance to you two, to your love is not an easy task. So, when you are ready to take this plunge, consider yourself brave already. All you need is to do is take little calculated steps which will help you mend hearts without causing further damage. Here’s how to do it-
How to Fix Things in a Broken Relationship
1. Pay attention
“Partner not paying enough attention” has been one of the major causes of breakups lately. Whether you are having a sweet talk with your partner or a fight, the other person is listening to you with his or her full attention is what everybody expects. But, when the reality does not meet this simple expectation, rage explodes. Therefore, when you are trying to work things out, this should be your first step towards re-establishing the connection. Be your attentive best whenever your partner has something to say. No matter how insignificant the subject is or how much you disagree with him or her, try to listen first without looking away or walking out.
2. Initiate conversation
After calling it off, perhaps the hardest task for either of the partner is to initiate conversation once again. Everybody wants the other person to take the initiative and as both parties keep wanting, the conversation never happens. So, whether you are the guilty one or the one at the receiving end, take the initiative and start talking. Try and be compassionate with your words and leave the past behind.
3. Re-establish trust
If you truly want to revive your broken relationship, make your goals clear to the other person that you are not here to fight or blame or hurt. You are here to resuscitate a relationship that you consider an important part of your existence. So, show all the love and care you still have and re-establish mutual trust. Without trust, it will be impossible to make anything happen.
4. Communicate your intentions clearly
Talk to your partner about what exactly you two want from this relationship. It’s necessary to have similar goals or expectations, but knowing each other’s intentions will help you both in the long run. Remember, unclear intentions can cause more trouble than clearly communicated expectations and desires.
5. Show gratitude
We often fail to show gratitude to our partners or people who are dear to us. Call it being informal or just taking things for granted, we don’t say “Thank you” enough. Moreover, when it’s already broken, finding faults looks easier than finding beautiful qualities in each other. Why don’t you start taking notes of the petty gestures and qualities you see and like in your partner and express gratitude for that?
6. Keep a track of what’s working for you two
As you two progress, try to keep a track of what’s working and what’s not. Then, concentrate on what’s working and share those observations with your partner.
7. Take responsibility for your actions
This is one thing which can make or break many a things in our life. We often tend to be scared of taking responsibility of our own actions. Some of us avoid this, some shift the responsibility on other factors or people. But, if we learn to own our stuff, it could do magic in our relationships as well as in life. Remember, while victim playing is a safe option, it does not contribute much positiveness to the situation. Also, “to err is human” after all.
8. Be honest
Honesty can hurt at times, but it never kills. So, if you want this relationship to work again, be honest at any cost. It might be uncomfortable initially, but, it will show its results in time. Remember how those suppressed disappointments, unspoken grudges once took a toll on your relationship? Let’s not make that mistake again.
9. Search for solutions, together
It’s a journey you two have decided to be on together. Problem arises not when you two are together, but when two start handling the relationship individually. Hence, when things go wrong, don’t abandon the other person and embark on a solo journey in your search for solutions. It’s a team, so let your partner in. Maybe, he or she can help you find a solution. You never know!
10. Take breaks, give space
While working towards fixing your broken relationship, you may feel distracted, drained and emotionally exhausted at times. Worry not- it is quite normal to feel that way. Don’t give up. You just need a little break. The same goes for your partner, too. In such situations, take a break. Live separately for a few days. Take a vacation with friends. Return with a fresh mind and more energy. When you have come this far, there’s no doubt that you are doing great!
What if it doesn’t work out at the end?
If you think that even after putting so much effort, things are not working out between you two then consider seeking professional help. Not everything is in our hand. Ask your partner about his/her opinion of going to a relationship counselor and if he/she agrees, schedule a meeting. Remember, we are often just one step away from success.
Featured Image Courtesy: Prashant’s Photography
