The Second Wedding Series: When You Are Ready For Remarriage

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When is the right time to think about remarriage? Is it when you feel you’re falling in love with a partner who brings stability to your life? Is it when the children (if there are any!) give you the encouragement you need, or is it when you have put the past firmly behind you?

To be honest, whether you are ready for remarriage or not completely depends upon you. There is no one correct factor and instead you’ll find a multitude of positive signals directing you on a certain path. We analyse a few of the ‘ready for remarriage’ signs:

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Goodbye to the Past: As sensitive people, we love to tear apart certain situations and periods in our life to analyse what went wrong from a 100 different perspectives. Reflection undoubtedly is a wise step on your part but over thinking about what went wrong and how it could have been avoided could leave you feeling like a failure at relationships. Once you have understood yourself and your first marriage better, the next decision to make is NOT to keep re-thinking about the past. Doing so stops you from living in the present and planning for the future. You know your past doesn’t bother you any more when you can talk about your ex without breaking down, you have left any negative feelings behind and you are willing to open your mind and heart to new possibilities.

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Sense of Maturity: No, we don’t meana sense of maturity with regard to you, but maturity with regard to the relationship. Being honest with your partner about all aspects (including about why your first marriage failed) can lay the foundation for a strong relationship. It may not be easy to discuss matters of finance, careers and the like with your new partner, but if you both are ready to talk about a life together, then with time, you’ll find yourself saying ‘yes’ to marriage.

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Family Support: Remarriage is often a tricky subject to discuss with loved ones but one can’t deny that India is a collection of societies (think closely knit families) that work together from all four corners of the land. If you have children from your first marriage, it’s important to talk about remarriage and your new partner with them. Depending upon the age of the child, there are different ways to approach this topic. Although, it’s never easy to tell children that you will be replacing a parent for them, not telling them about your remarriage plans could lead to distrust and unexpected backlash later. Similarly, it is important to let your partner know about the kind of role he is expected to play in your children’s lives.

So, are you ready for remarriage? It’s like relationship experts say, ‘When you are, you’ll know’. If you are in that place right now, march on with confidence in your dreams.

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