What Brides Say and What They Really Mean

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Disclaimer- This article has been written to add fun element to regular articles on wedding. These are mere jokes shared for readers. No offence meant. Read this in good sense of humour.

Well, now that we have mentioned there is nothing serious in this article, tell us one thing- Have you ever pictured a wedding where the bride was not smiling ear to ear? No right? That is because this is the general code of conduct for a bride as per our society and culture. However, there are a lot of things and thoughts that are behind the bride’s coy side and smile. You may be keen to know what lies behind that sugary smile and customary thank yous!  Well, we are here to give you an insight into what goes on inside the Indian Bride’s head on her wedding day and what is the ‘Real’ meaning of some sentences she says during her wedding.

What she says– Oh! Thank you for coming…I am so happy you could make it! (When some distant relative/friend brings their distant relative or friend in tow to the wedding just because they happened to be in the city)
What she means– Do I even know you? Will I ever talk to you after the wedding is over? God! I spent months finalizing my wedding guests list and this what you do to me? Damn…another per plate charge added to the wedding expenditure.

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What she says– Oh Wow! You got us a blender as our wedding gift? Thank you so much, I love it!
What she means– A little consideration while shopping for our wedding gift would not have hurt you aunty! This is probably the 4th-5th blender I’d be getting today! This won’t be a surprise for us if you told us that this was gifted to you last diwali by your friends, you just forwarded this to us in a different wrapping! Hmm…wait till you end up getting one again… may be from us later, who knows? Seriously? A blender. Really?

What she says–  Oh no no, I am not hungry at all…I’ll eat later.  (When some relative/friends ask her if they can get something to eat in case she is hungry)
What she means- I have spent thousands on make up to look like this today, there is no chance I am ruining that today! I can’t munch away to glory while everybody else stares at me on stage. Worse- They might take pictures of me while eating! A safe option to avoid all that embarrassment is to skip eating all together right? However, honestly given an option I could hog on every single dish that is served today in the menu. Oh not to mention lots of sweets as well.

What she says– Oh wow, You look lovely! (When she compliments a lady who looks as if it is her wedding, since she is all decked up in heavy jewellery and lehenga; when she comes to greet the couple on the stage)

What she means- What on earth were you thinking? Did you have a memory lapse? Did you think it is ‘your’ wedding? Girl, it is quite obvious that you like to dress up, but today is MY day! I won’t let you ruin that… even if you thought you need to look your best to impress guys here you could have controlled a bit on glitter! No wonder weddings are an offline shaadi.com for marriageable age girls. Don’t take that seriously please!

What she says– Oh baby, you look amazing…and wow you have perfectly coordinated your look!
(When they tell the groom how dashing he looks )
What she means– You are asking the bride for her opinion? Like seriously? Do you even know nobody is going to look at you today… well your parents and a few cousins/friends of yours might pay attention but look- I AM the star attraction of the evening. Ok?

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What she says- Thank you so much, I just did not have the time to finalize all this, I wore whatever came my way, really…no effort at that! (When the wedding guests compliment her on the wonderful wedding jewellery and make up)
What she means– You have NO idea how I am feeling right now.  I spent ages on Pinterest to find the perfect jewellery style and makeup and now I feel like a little kid dressed for a fancy dress competition, just with heavier dress and lots of heavy jewellery and make up in addition. The garjra, lehenga-choli-dupatta, necklaces, earrings, bangles and maatha pattis need to come off NOW!

What she says– One more photo? Ya sure,  no problem. (When the guests come up on stage and ask the couple to pose for selfies, when the photographer asks them to pose repeatedly for photos and take multiple takes)
What she means– Yes yes why not? I am free for the entire life now, the stress of wedding preparation is off my head and I have nothing better to do now (just the honeymoon which is a few days later) I have given up the urge of hunger and thirst and I have decided to oblige you instead by letting you take photos with me again and again again!

Bride on wedding day

Well, these are just a few things that run in a bride’s mind on her wedding day and how she expresses them. Do you agree? Comment below!

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