6 Tips to Managing Husband and In-Law’s Expectations

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There’s a lovely saying ‘when you marry a man, it’s not only him but also his family’. This is especially true in our Indian culture. Family is important to everyone. Just as you love your parents, your spouse also loves his parents. There’s also a lot of expectations from a newly wedded bride or a soon-to-be wedded girl. Your parents and in laws expect you to be the perfect daughter in law and so does your husband. But as a bride you are piled with responsibility of not only keeping in laws happy but primarily your husband. It’s a very delicate matter. To make a choice between the two is quite difficult. We have 6 tips to managing husband and in-law’s expectations without disappointing either.

Husband and in-law's

Acceptance

Acceptance is the first step towards having a peaceful relationship with your in laws. Once you establish a cordial relationship, explaining your actions is that much easier. Try and observe the way your new family works for the first 6 months. You’ll soon understand what’s acceptable and what’s not.

Husband is the Priority

Be clear on this. Once you are married, your priority is towards your husband. Your loyalties lie with him. Your differences are for you too only. Nobody else needs to know. In case of difference of opinion between in-laws and husband, you must always support your husband. Later on, you can explain to him if he’s wrong.

Husband and in-law's

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Demarcate Boundaries

You, together with your husband, must sit and discuss what’s acceptable and what’s not. This may be financial matters, holidays, festivals, gifts. As soon as you both know what actions can be taken, there will be very little to disagree about.

In-Laws are also Parents

Just as you love your parents, your husband loves his. Your parents are important and you tell them everything. The same is true for your husband. Now that you are married, you both have to pull back a little from your parents. This does not mean, you don’t call your parents, or meet them. It means you restrict the amount of time you spend with them. It applies to both you and your husband.

Husband and in-law's

Generation Gap

Your husband expects you to dress up differently for a party with friends. Your in-laws don’t approve. This is a very common growing problem between modern couples. It is because of the generation gap. Some in-laws are forward thinking and accept these changes, but some don’t. Ask your husband to make your in-laws understand that the circles you move in are different.

Listening is an Art

Listening to in-laws is very important. But that does not mean you have to adhere to everything they say. Consult your husband. Take his advice and then act on your instinct.

Images: Courtesy Nidhi Kashyap Photographer

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