The Second Weddings Series- Why A Second Marriage Is Worth Considering: Part 1

By  | 

Before we take a look at how to tell when you’re ready for a second marriage, we tell you why getting hitched the second time around is actually a great idea. It is an open secret that while more than 50% of first marriages end in divorce or separation, the figure is a smaller 25- 30% for second marriages. So, why do couples do a better job of writing a successful love story after experiencing failure the first time?


Lower Expectations: Let’s be honest- most of us grow up with the idea of a perfect spouse or partner and have certain expectation from the person we wake up next to, each morning. These expectations could stem from anywhere; for instance it could be a personal opinion with regard to what a spouse should and shouldn’t do, it could arise from having seen the way your parents handled their marriage or it may even have to do with a few unwritten diktats that society itself unconsciously follows. People who get married for the second time have a much more realistic idea about what a partner can and can’t do or will and won’t do. When expectations are kept at a realistic level, any and every little thing that a partner does becomes an act of love.


Willingness to Adjust: A partner leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor or forgetting to take out the garbage may have been unforgiveable in the first marriage. However, most couples in a second marriage have higher tolerance levels and are willing to make bigger adjustments to keep the marriage going. This newfound tolerance arises from experience and an ingrained knowledge about what truly works, what doesn’t and minor issues that both partners can afford to overlook. In short, knowing which battles are worth fighting and which aren’t is an important factor for a marriage to be successful.


Better Understanding: A failed first marriage is often a great opportunity for people to reflect over what went wrong, what they really want from life and the ideal partner they would like to have. A first marriage may fail due to a number of reasons- it may be due to irreconcilable differences, due to the death of a partner or due to other reasons. However, the pain that is invariably felt can also work as a powerful healing factor in such circumstances. Often, the period of reflection which follows the sudden end of a marriage can be highly beneficial as well. Learning to analyse mistakes in an unbiased manner can help a person be careful about avoiding unwanted emotional baggage in a second marriage.

We will be back with the second part of this article next time.

Back to Advice