The thought of having someone special in life is as magical as the reality of actually being in a relationship. Thanks to the childhood fairy-tales and Bollywood/Hollywood “Romcoms” the notion about romantic relationships are further reinforced. Most girls spend their teenage years daydreaming about a future prince charming or a knight in shining armour who will appear one day to sweep them off their feet. What happens then? Is being in a relationship really as great as it is made out to be. Here is our take on this topic…
The term Reality bites rings true in this case, more than ever…
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Allow us to clarify: we say reality because until we are in a relationship, we are only living in dreamland where we happen to build castles in the air based on sky high expectations taken from romantic novels and films. But, just one relationship makes us land on Earth without prior notice.
Here’s a complete list of relationship expectation vs reality-
It will be another epic love story!
Expectation: Because Noah and Allie had an epic love story, so had Raj and Simran or Jack and Rose. You convince yourself that success of a relationship is directly proportional to the pain you go through.
Reality: First of all, Noah and Allie had Nicholas Sparks, Raj and Simran had Aditya Chopra to perfectly shape their love stories and make the necessary changes as and when needed. Unfortunately, in reality, a love story never really has a writer or a director to create to perfection. Nor does a love story have to be painful to have a happily-ever-after ending. Moreover, every pain is not worth the suffering.
It’s “us.”
Expectation: Once you two are in a relationship, it’s no longer you and me. It becomes “us.”
Reality: No matter how much two people love each other, giving up all those “me-times” is not that easy. Because you two are two different people living two distinct lives. So, you cannot act like conjoined twins. And if one of you enjoys free time or wants to be with friends , it does not mean that you are compromising.
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Love should be your daily dose of happiness.
Expectation: That your significant other will be your ultimate and constant source of happiness. That this relationship will fill up all the emptiness in your life and will complete you, to say the least.
Reality: Seeking happiness from someone else than you often leads to a huge disillusionment. More than that, being in a relationship not for the sake of it, but for being complete or to fill the void is wrong. You cannot just fall in love with a purpose in mind. It becomes a lie that you keep telling yourself until reality hits you hard. Wise ones say that self-deception is the worst kind of deception.
It will be lovey-dovey, always!
Expectation: We expect our relationship to be just perfect. We think there won’t be disagreements or fights. Our hearts will be filled only with love and nothing else. We two will never fight like other couples, never yell at each other. We will epitomize all those blissful vows people exchange on their wedding day.
Reality: Nobody’s perfect. Maybe, his choice of music might give you a headache or, maybe he won’s be a fan of your pasta. But, yes, even under such circumstances, so as to not hurt his/her feeling you might stay silent. But, once in a while, misunderstandings will happen. In fact, no fight means you two are not being yourself. Important is how you accept each other with all the faults and scars, and how you two deal with the rough winds together holding hands.
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Love means changing yourself
Expectation: As you have read a hundred times and seen in TV serials how two people change themselves in order to become what their Significant Other wants them to be. So, the person in love must be ready to change himself/herself at the drop of a hat. Just like you are preparing to change your lifestyle or eating habits to accommodate other’s likes and preferences.
Reality: All hell breaks loose if your partner denies to change himself/herself. By the way, it’s not changing, it’s compromising with your true self to become somebody else. Love should not come with such a list of terms and conditions. All you can do is try being the better version of yourself with every passing day, learn from each other and adjust your individual likes and dislikes a little.
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