So, the rings are exchanged along with the vows. The ceremonies are over. The guests have left already and the new life has finally begun. The wise and experienced ones say that the first year of marriage is the trickiest one. Both parties constantly struggle to find similarities between their lives before and after marriage. (Though, till date, in the history of marriage- not many couples have proclaimed to find any similarity whatsoever.) So, where can one find the magic potion that removes obstacles from this path and makes the first year journey of togetherness a happy one?
The journey from “getting married” to “just married” to “together for a year” often becomes a challenging one for most newlyweds. Many feel confused, overwhelmed or apprehensive about surviving the very first year of marriage. If this is you-we might have a solution for you.
Here are 10 secret tips to make your first year of marriage a happy and blissful one-
1. Place yourself in her/his shoes
The most important thing that couples tend to forget after getting married is: the other person (i.e. your spouse) is also going through the same difficult phase of life. He/she is also equally confused, scared and apprehensive about the same things. Keep this in mind and your job is 40% done.
2. Agree to disagree
When it come to the most significant issues about conjugal life such as kids, finance, personal space etc, make sure you both are on the same page.
3. Communicate
Clearly communicate your expectations with your better half. Most people expect their better half to read their mind and understand everything that they want. Well, this read-my-mind can be a real deal-breaker!
4. Put “I” aside to bring “we” inside.
It’s a joint venture in its initial period. Lots of disagreement will happen. In fact, that’s the way you two will discover each other as a person, as a life-partner. Remember, seeing the negative side of your spouse is important, too!
5. Don’t end the day with a conflict.
Sit, talk and resolve it. Go to bed with a smile and not a frowning face. Don’t rush if one of you two is still upset. Give him/her some time.
Image: ConsciouSpace
6. Give and take but give more
Married couples often keep a scoreboard where everything gets listed. But, marriage is not a competition. So, try to contribute 100% to your marriage without counting what you are getting in return.
7. Do not rush-be patient
When things are really bad, thoughts of separation or divorce could eventually come to your mind. Please do not rush until you have given it a great deal of thought. If needed, go for couple counselling especially if things are totally unbearable.
8. Do not try to change the other person.
Instead, try to fall in love with his/her differences. When in doubt, ask yourself-would you like to stay with your carbon-copy?
9. Learn from past mistakes
Chances are that you two would disagree a lot in the first year. But the best you can do is learn from those disagreements and take lessons from these experiences. That’s how you two can grow together towards a better, happier future.
10. Address your own insecurities.
Show your love and care. Appreciate him/her whenever you get a chance. And, last but not least, learn to forgive and forget.
Featured Image Courtesy: Chintu Pathak
